August 08, 2005

Strange Pregnancy Feelings: I need a new set of friends!

Here's another un-expected, a bit annoying thing about pregnancy. We are the first of our close group of friends to be expecting. By far. I'd say half of our friends are in the "moving in together" phase, while the other half are in the "single girl looking for the perfect guy" phase. I should mention for posterity that we are all in our early 30s...I wonder how this is going to sound 30 years from now...early 30s? barely adolescents! ;). Anyways, although we don't mind being trailblazers in general, this sort-of sucks: expecting a child is such a major life-changing experience that all you want to talk about is the crazy stuff that you learn, the weird stuff you have to buy, the weird parenting-induced anxiety dreams and thoughs you're having. And your friends want to go out for a drink. Or want to tell you about a boy they met online yesterday. Which is totally fine, we _want_ to listen, we love our friends and care about them and want to know everything that's going on with them! At the same time, they want to know what's up with us, and all that we can offer is parenting-related stuff (and how excited we are about the whole process). Which I'm sure it's fine, but I can't help but feeling embarassed about it. I know a lot of our friends dream of having a family one day, and some are pretty much ready to have one, but are much further than we are to having one. I feel like we're showing off for having a baby, and feel a bit guilty about it (not a feeling we like).

Also, we are starved for information about preggo's and childbirth and all that stuff, but none of our closest friend can give us much! So, what do you do? You start looking for new friends. Friends of friends that have kids? People you meet at the grocery store? ANYONE! I need some new friends, FAST! ;) Which is a weird feeling itself...I LIKE my friends, I don't want new ones!

Anyways, just another part of this "life changing experience" I guess...

Peldi

P.S.I want to report that we are lucky to have found, through friends, a small number of people in the same boat as we are, and that we actually like! We're hosting a dim-sum for preggers and parents-of-babies at our place next week-end, where we'll be able to "talk shop" the whole time, with no guilt! Whoo-hoo!

Posted by patata at 03:29 PM | Comments (4)

Srange Pregnancy Feelings: the first trimester

I have wanted to blog about this for a while but never got around to it. I guess it's one of those interesting (ok, I mean annoying) pregnancy feelings that everyone has to go through. I'm talking about the time between when you first pee on a stick and when the first trimester is over. Our first reaction to the positive pregnancy test was of extreme excitement: you just found out that your life will never be the same, the miracle of life and all that good stuff (I'm assuming you were trying to have a child, like we were). Immediately after (we're talking minutes, not days), there's the cold shower: unless you lived under a rock, you have heard that there's a pretty high risk of natural miscarriage in the first trimester (the first visit to our doctor confirmed it's about 20-25%, higher than I thought!). So, if you're like me, you try not to get your hopes up, because you know it's going to be incredibly sad if a miscarriage ends up happening. So I kept repeating to Mariah, and myself, things like "if it happens", "if it's meant to be...", prefacing every baby-related thought that inevitably stormed our heads. Such a big bummer! All we wanted to do was celebrate and tell everyone we knew about it! We told a couple of close friends, then one morning Mariah's boobs didn't hurt for maybe one hour (a big change from the constant pain she was in), and we (silently) freaked. You read that you should be on the look-out for "complete loss of all pregnancy symptoms" as a bad sign, and here it was. Sure enough, the boobs started hurting again and everything was fine, but I remember thinking "I'm glad we didn't tell that many people, and I'm not looking forward to talking to those who know "our secret"). So then months go by, hard months in which you eventually end up not returning your friends' calls because you know that they want to go out to a bar, or have dinner together and it was hard to explain how Mariah suddently quit smoking and drinking...which sucks, all you want to do is tell them! Anyways, you go to the doctor, they feel the heartbeat, everything is fine, you're out of the first trimester and you get the go-ahead to tell people. So you DO! And they are excited...and here's the annoying thing...they are SO excited! They are as excited as _you_ want to be! You want to be REALLY excited, you're out of the woods, this baby-thing is most likely going to happen! Except...you've known for 2 months already, and you've kind-of gotten used to the idea...even though you were consciously trying not to get your hopes up...you know what I mean? I felt totally jipped! I never got to scream and jump around about it!

But don't worry, I'm planning on loosing it when the baby actually comes out, if you're at CPMC on that day you'll know I'm there! ;)

Posted by patata at 03:29 PM | Comments (1)